The other day I went to go see some music and I arrived at the venue way before my friends did because I am neurotic. I was hanging out in the bar while waiting for them to show up but it was extremely crowded so I went outside to chill on the street and get some space.

That's when I met C-Note.

He approached me, gave me the head nod, and then stood right next to me. Like, rightnexttome. I decided to sit down on a windowsill and he decided to keep standing. Right next to me.

Kind of like this except for way more awkward because we were not looking at each other, smiling, and/or communicating in anyway whatsoever. Because we were not friends.

We were like that for a very long while. It felt like seven hours because why-was-he-so-close-to-me-this-is-America-not-Turkey, but in reality it was probably about 90-110 seconds before he made his next move. Which was saying in a very loud voice, "Hey how you doin', my name is C-Note, what's yours?" while thrusting his hand out in my general direction for a hearty handshake.

I shook his hand and told C-Note I was fine. 

Following that, several groups of tourists passed by and we both stared forward at them in silence. Together. Because we were apparently in this together now.

Here's the thing guys. I had no idea what C-Note was trying to do. He was young - like young 20's - and he was not hitting on me nor did he appear to be homeless. No strong smells. Clothes were Asheville-Standard (which may be considered borderline homeless in some areas but we are very in touch with our inner hobo in this town so I didn't jump to any conclusions). I glanced at him furtively a number of times while we were collectively looking at the street and he did not notice in the least. After that, I decided to be bold and I said, "So what's up C-Note," and when he outright ignored me I decided that he was playing a game to see if he could make me uncomfortable enough to move. Once I realized this (I can be very intuitive, people) I had the upper hand. Because I WAS THERE FIRST. Since I am a child and I had an excess of time, I decided to wait it out. 

C-Note lit a cigarette. 

I took out my cell phone and typed "C-Note" into my notes section.

Another eternity passed and I was beginning to get bored. Why was C-Note ignoring me? I decided that he was VERY good at his game, perhaps better than me.

Just when I was about to leave, C-Note sat down next to me. Finally.
I looked at him square in the face and repeated my OG question.

 "So what's up C-Note?"

And do you want to know what he said? Of course you do.

He said, "Hey, I was just wondering if you had five dollars."

Five dollars? FIVE?! 

When did this happen? When did it become a thing to ask for more than one dollar?


Also, why did it take you 100 years to ask for the fiver, C-Note. 

I wanted to tell him that he could have saved $5 if he hadn't bought his pack of cigarettes. I wanted to tell him to choose a better audience for this type of proposition in the future, perhaps a person wearing more expensive shoes. I wanted to tell him that you have to provide some sort of performance for that kind of money that goes beyond the invasion of personal space - we live in a busking town after all. But the entire interaction had been so bizarre, like a really bad commercial for off brand cologne or something - I didn't know how to fix it. So I simply said, "No."

Then C-Note said to me very carefully and calmly, "That's ok. You are very blessed. And you will have a blessed life." While he said this he laid his hand on the back of my neck very assertively. Then he got up and walked away.

I, too, left the windowsill after this final interaction and reentered the bar. I found my friend Mary and immediately had her check my neck for a chip or a monitoring device of some sort because guys, I am pretty sure that C-Note is an alien and I have been marked.