My Judgment Blog

Guys, I’m seriously so judgmental with no right to be. When I think about myself overall, I’m usually like, “Yeah, I’m pretty chill. I’m pretty cool.” But then, THEN, I realize I’m kind of a dick.

For instance, I was in an Uber the other night and judged the shit out of my driver, Joshua. I feel so bad upon reflection. 90% of the interaction was in my head, but still.

Here is what happened:

1)    My initial impression was, “Man bun. Stop it.”

2)    Then, he started driving a way home that I wouldn’t have taken, and I thought to myself, “Wrong.”

3)    After that I verbally questioned the music he was playing. He said it was rainbow kitten vomit or some shit and I was like, “Turn it off.” (In my head).

4)    THEN my friend asked him if anyone had ever vomited in his car (the music probably inspired the question) and Joshua started yapping about some deep essential oil bullshit that keeps people from puking or that covers up the smell after the fact or what not

5)    and this prompted actual words from me which were all, “Hold up. That is literally the most Asheville shit I have ever heard. How long have you been here?” (I always sound like I am making an accusation when I ask how long someone has lived here) Joshua informed me that he had arrived approximately 9 months ago.

6)    Then I followed up with the question “Why did you come?” And he told me he was trying to make it here because he feels he has finally found his people who understand the power of crystals and herbalism and what not and

7)    I was all, “You’re the people who clog up my internet dating feed making it impossible to find someone who doesn’t live in a van by the river and I guarantee you have never seen The Never Ending Story and we have nothing in common!” (in my head).

And that’s why I am a dick. Because Joshua is actually probably a nice person who just happens to like man buns. He HAS found his people here and the thing is, I used to really like crystals too. It is possible that I was Joshua’s people for an extended period of my life. Just the other day, a colleague referred a patron to me when they were asking about the symbolism of rose quartz because he knew that I would know the answer offhand (gentle kindness especially in reference to your inner child). If we are going for full disclosure here (and we always are) I am going to admit that crystals were only a small fraction of my past. I was one of those girls who hula hoop danced at music festivals. I made my own clothing with random scraps of mildewed materials found in a garbage bag in my parents’ basement. I have attended retreats in ashrams, been to countless Buddhist meditation sessions, learned to chant with my entire mind, body, and soul, and for an entire year of my life I went to a Deeksha group in someone’s living room every Monday where people would transmit energy through the power of touch to one another. I’m not even going to get into the array of dietary cleanses, lack of showering, or peace rallying that went on over the years. Despite all of this, I find myself judging other people who care about that kind of stuff. Why?

It’s not like I am some “normal” US citizen at this juncture in life. I have just changed out my old weird for new weird. (Things I am obsessed with) I’m trying to be reflective on this type of stuff because I kind of think it is the basis for why our country is struggling so much. This lack of empathy for people who are really not that different from you – who could actually be a direct reflection of your past self if you are being honest – is what is creating an excessive divide. I’m not necessarily trying to get all deep and political here, but I also kind of am. We spend so much time hating on people who have different perspectives than us, behavior that is highlighted by our elected officials in office, that we forget to notice how much we have in common. I have been lucky enough to visit and live in lots of different places on this planet and while everything is not always perfect and some of the time life is really terrifying, I have been taken care of by strangers again and again. Trusting that people are inherently good and that things will work out has helped tremendously. I may view life through a different lens than a lot of my neighbors, but that doesn’t mean that they are bad people - and I try with all my heart not to villainize them with contempt. There are rapists and murderers and rapist-murderers out there who should totally be locked up forever, but let’s keep things in perspective here people.

I am done with my soapbox, but in conclusion: I’m trying to love the Joshuas and the conservatives and whomever else to improve my little corner of the world - wish me luck!