12.02.2013

dear diary

Last night as I was going to bed I realized that I hadn't written in my diary for over a month. I have been too manically happy lately to write/reflect. But now that that's over, it's back to business as usual. Here are a few of my most recent updates:

1) The guy that I was dating ended things with me over a Facebook Chat. A new all time low in terms of venue. He used the phrase, "It's not you, it's me." Well, thank God he said that, otherwise I may have had low self esteem about it.

As I relayed the five dollar version of this story to a colleague/friend, she supported me with the requisite sad face and then proceeded to reassure me that this kind of thing was normal. She said, "Before I moved to Turkey I was never rejected. But now I'm rejected all the time. It's OK, you'll get used to it. Turkish men are incomprehensible." I love her.

2) As a result of this relationship fail, I made a massive amount of holiday food in my apartment, by myself, which influenced me to hate Glee. "The previous sentence makes no sense," you may be saying to yourself. But it actually does make sense.

Check this out: I was trying to create an atmosphere of holiday cheer in my apartment to soothe my blackened mood. So while cooking I opted to listen to the Glee versions of my Christmas Classic Faves (aka CCFs). "What a fun alternative to the regular standards," I said to myself out loud in a spooky voice. But after awhile the irrationally chipper voices of the Glee cast angered me inside, driving me to eat excessive portion sizes of stuffing, etc. The final outcome of this was me drowning in a combination of self loathing and real or imagined love-handle growth.

3) Then I Skyped with my parents. Everything was going fine until it wasn't anymore. Typical. Somehow our conversation moved from discussing Christmas presents to me accusing them of not remembering anything about my childhood. Then I laughed in an unprompted, hysterical way, which was inappropriate. But I suppose the fact that they do not remember my childhood is also not OK. The conversation ended with us all admitting our shortcomings and the promise to chat again soon.

4) To throw a positive spin on the Thanksgiving holiday update, I had a really nice staff dinner! Many friends were there and the food tasted like America. After the meal, I decided to let go of all inhibitions and eat directly out of the community bowl of mashed potatoes with an over-sized wooden spoon from the buffet table. Because fuck it. And also, because liquor drinks. Then, with the permission of nobody, I climbed up on the apartment lobby couch, barefoot, falling down twice, to attach my Jesus Gumbi doll to the top of the communal Christmas tree.


reason for the season.