4.28.2014

I've been busy

I haven't really been that busy. I've mostly just been adjusting to a constant cycle of self-imposed lifestyle changes. I've been watching my body slowly decompose, in horror, and I've been trying to avoid the reality of it.

What I just wrote sounds extremely dramatic and may or may not be accurate. I haven't contracted leprosy yet and I still go to work everyday. All in all, I'm a survivor.

Anyway, since I haven't been able to be as active as I need to be in order to stay sane and socially appropriate I've taken on some new habits. None of which have won me friends.

a) I listen to podcasts all the time now. I binge on 10-12 per day and as a result I am constantly responding in conversation with non sequiturs that make people feel mildly uncomfortable.
Coworker: Good Morning Kassandra! Do you need help arranging anything for the 5th grade play today?
Me: Actually, I just found out that sociopaths are not without emotions as most people believe, but rather they don't feel fear in particular and therefore need heightened experiences to get their thrills in life. Which is why they murder so much.
Coworker: Oh. My.
Me: Really. The scientists have done pulse rate tests and what not.


b) I've recently been reading an EXORBITANT amount of YA (Young Adult literature) mostly because I can get it for free on my ipad, but also because I really like it. This leads to me ponder questions like, "Do I have a superhuman equivalent out there in this vast universe?"  and "What will my first kiss be like?"

Again, these are conversation topics that my friends get judgy about, but honestly? I think everyone would be a lot happier if could chill the hell out and get a little more involved with their 13 year old selves.

c) I have been exclusively listening to music produced in the 1990's for close to two weeks now. I'm planning a 90's party (everyone I know is welcome to attend) and it's possible that I am losing friends just based on the fact that the party dominates most of my conversation -- if I'm not already in the throes of referencing a TED talk or a 128 page long sci-fi/romance novelette.

You're welcome.

d) In my downtime from the previously listed activities, I am neurotically googling all of my ailments and diagnosing myself with dire prognoses. After I decide upon a frightening disease that I have contracted, I then look up diet changes that I can make to eradicate all problems. Following this, I research a series of recipes and write them all down in my cookbook. This week I plan to make everything with the magic ingredient turmeric. If what I have been reading is correct, I should start feeling better in a month or so.

* I'll write about something cool next time.