1.12.2014

I have a point at the end of this

I was sharing my fondest memories of childhood with someone the other day and here was my list:

  • Playing "Chocolate Milk Factory" in the big mud puddle in the driveway. Everyday. Sometimes with my sister but mostly by myself.
  • Singing the soundtrack of Annie at top volume to lure the family's runaway cats back home. I was convinced that they would be drawn back home by the sweet sound of my voice. Turns out they were dead.
  • Playing with my imaginary friend, Juicy.
  • Rollerskating around the basement to old Beatles records wearing only one skate because the other belonged to my sister.
  • Taking all of my books outside and playing "Orphanage."
  • Positioning all of my stuffed animals around me and pretending that I was ET.

And as I continued on with this list I was just like, what the fuck. Statement, not question.
Following my brief mental breakdown I was led to wonder, "Did I have a weird childhood? Or was I just a weird kid?"

Because kids are weird and spooky all around. Even kids that are being raised in COMPLETELY normal households are still weird as hell.

Kids are always talking about spooky things like seeing invisible dead people sitting at the ends of their beds and shit. And it's like, I don't have time for that. You terrify me.

I mean, I can't criticize too harshly because I'm haunted. And I'm not really going to get into that because I don't want you to judge me. (I know that I've written a few things before this that might be judgment worthy but I don't care about that stuff.) Allow me to get to the point: When I was younger I thought that it was my lot in life to randomly find myself in a continuous circuit of haunted places. But then I got to thinkin' that maybe it's not always the PLACE that's haunted. Maybe a person can be haunted too. And maybe (probably) I am one of those persons.

Also, I'm pretty sure that haunted people suffer from a large number of nosebleeds. I'm not positive that there is a direct correlation between regularly bleeding from the face and seeing dead people, but it seems likely. 

Back to my childhood for a second. I think that my imaginary friend, Juicy, was a dead person. Also, I think a portion of my fear of octopi stems from a past life experience of being killed by one. Which in effect means that my prior self is haunting my current self.

And that's OK because whatever doesn't kill me (this time) will only make me stronger. Wow!! I had no idea that this post was going to end with such an empowering sentiment. Go me.